"The key that unlocks a door is a key to keep if you
want to go through that door again."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Never so sweet a repast as the Reaper's when you tread upon the
threshold of a Quiznos."
- Oscar WIlde
"We've given Iraq six months and I don't think things are
really working out, so we should probably bring our troops home."
- Thomas Friedman
"Mars, baleful eye of Hades, look down upon this ruin of man and
witness my wrath poured out."
- Walt Disney
"If you want something done, ask. If you want something done
quickly, ask, and then begin counting down from ten with no
- Mahatma Gandhi
"I love baby rabbits. I want a baby rabbit to put inside my mouth
and hold it there and taste it on my tongue all day. Will it melt? I don't
- Mike Tyson
"The moon isn't so tough."
- Neil Armstrong
"The moon is super tough."
- Nicolaus Copernicus
"Fuck dolphins. You want to talk to me about fucking dolphins? Look
at this shit. Look at this fucking gorilla. Bring that dolphin over here and he
will fuck it up."
- Diane Fossey
"Silent strength is the quality of all good men and
- Teddy Roosevelt
"Wisdom is in measured routine. Three naps a day will keep you fit,
nine breakfasts before noon, spin until you fall on your back, and thrust your
face into a nettle plant. Drink at least five cups of a mare's urine and
look upon your self in a silver mirror while you hold your air in your
- Benjamin Franklin
"If you see a woman crying, kick her."
- Gene Roddenberry
"Do not fear the robot, fear the man who would bid the robot
- Ramesses II
"Drugs, booze, women, I've had more than my share, but nothing
satisfies quite like an all-weekend marathon of Full Metal Alchemist. Do you
know how to work the DVD player, Sharon?"
- Ozzy Osbourne
"Upon consideration of the central question of the moon's
toughness there can be little doubt. It is hella tough."
"And now we shall see just how tough your beloved 'moon'
really is. You may fire when ready, Oberbeamgezapper."
- Hermann Goering
"All we demand are the same rights as men, and
slightly more stalls per restroom. And tampon machines. And those little things
in the stalls so we can put our used tampons in them. And, okay, just go ahead
and make the bathrooms out of tampons."
- Susan B. Anthony
"It's okay, Chancellor, you can touch them. Sometimes I just
strip down to a tank top and stare at these guns in front of a mirror all day
- Margaret Thatcher
"No thank you, General Grant, I had two Fruit By the Foots on the way over
and I couldn't eat another bite."
- Abraham Lincoln
"That's a moon. That moon is going to be pretty tough to blow
- Obi Wan Kenobi
"I blow up moons like that for breakfast."
- John Wayne
"'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only
half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole."