Hello.
According to secret and confidential Miliatary sources the alien invasion is close at hand.
The new aliens are reported to be orbiting the earth in giant invisible alien spacecraft. There is currently no information as to what they look like or what they want. They have contacted all the main political leaders of the world, indicating plans that they need to use certain areas on the earth for currently unknown reasons. presumably to gain access to resources of some kind. All attempts to get rid of the problem have so far failed. Their spacecraft have been hit and totally unharmed by our most powerfull nuclear weapons to no effect whatsoever. The aliens have reached agreement that they will not harm humanity as long as we abide by their rules. The main rule is that soon we are going to have to accept what they call 'relocation'. That is anyone living in an area that they require will have to agree to move out peacefully. The aliens have the ability to pick up entire houses and buildings, float them through the air and 'relocate' them to a new area.
I have to go on a special mission right now but will keep everyone posted as to any new news as soon as possible.
Vivid777

Still no official information on the alien invasion.

Apparently the FBI have employed a psychic to try and find out a bit more about them and their Motives. Unnoficial leaks question the ability of the psychic involved. The unnamed source claims that the FBI have used a psychic named Blork. The psychic claims that the aliens are from the planet they call Gorblakistan. That they are a greenish version of the classic greys and that they are taking over the earth, and have indeed begun with a few "relocations". Their purpose was claimed to be that they are after the highly prized grease traps of the cities around the world. This ia supposed to be their favorite prized delicacy, their most highly sought after food source in the known universe. The psycic Blork claims that one has been killed with an organic biodynamic macadamia nut bomb, of which they have no defence against. If this questionable psychics information is correct it is bad news for Vampires as their blood apparently is a green/grey colour and tastes like a cross between McDonalds pickles and Hungry Jacks tomato sauce.

This information is considered highly irreputible and sources are waiting for information from more reputible investigations.
Vivid.

Hello.

There is some interesting news developing at the moment, but the alien invasion gets priority for now.

It turns out that the psychic, Blork that the FBI hired was actually an alien. The FBI had apparently not noticed that Blork wore sunglasses on the back of its head and walked backwards. Blork had been asking for full cream milk chocolate to eat to improve its psychic energy. What happened was a chain of errors in the FBIs catering department that led to blork eating a piece of unsweetened Carob. The reaction was instant and severe, with an explosive spontaneous combustion reaction destroying Blorks and a few FBI agents bodies almost instantly. The FBI are now thoroughly scanning the area looking for any any clues or DNA evidence that can teach them anything about the aliens. They are also looking for a new coffee table, which was destroyed along with the alien and FBI agents.

I will provide you with any updates as they come to hand.
Vivid

 

Not surprised ol W is doing better without his soupy brain    Any news on the lizard folk living in an apartment in downtown new york? I heard they like macaroni 

Secret information leaked to this website reveals the alarming idea that the human mind might not actually be what we always thought it was, namely our own.

This unusual concept appears to be gaining popularity amongst people around the globe who claim to have awakened from the false belief that we are the owners of our mental processes.

Sources claim that upon obtaining release they become aware of entities lingering over entire populations who are enslaved by enforced thought injection. They go on to say that  these entities are sharing their predatory minds with us to pacify us whilst they feast unobserved on our mental and emotional energies. This has been described as aprocess akin to 'tickling a trout' by a very cunning predator. Other sources describe humans as being unobtrusively 'farmed like chickens'.

Sources reveal that typically when one encounters the idea of escape from this mental imprisonment  our controlling entities quickly inject us with thoughts that contain sensations of smugness, disbelief, and scorn. Often accompanied by the words 'yeah right'!

These are sure signs that you are still in the grip of your mental slave masters.

As a request I have been asked to convey the following message.

'Have faith, there are beings on the other side of your perception working for your release. These ideas of escape are not new. Your last attempts at achieving realisation of this information has typically been erased from your conscious mind, or been remapped as an overlay of 'The Matrix'. New escape plans will follow soon.'

See you on the other side. Fight the disbelief.

Reports from undislclosed sources claim that while the macaroni famine will not indeed hit for 3 more years, that the illuminati reptillian aliens are already experiencing macaroni shortages. This has led them to declare open war against the Kraft yellow dinosaur. It is reported that the dinosaur does have important information that it wants to disclose to the public, but has been muzzled by the FBI in an effort to keep everything confidential. The macaroni shortage had led to a domino effect of factors. The illuminati reptillian aliens war against the Kraft dinosaur has forced them to cut back on the forced human mining operations that supply them with the mono-atomic gold that the illuminati use to control the human mind, causing us to be unaware of them feeding on our mental and emotional energies. This has led to the leaked reports that Oldbill has discovered. Also, due to the macaroni shortage, the illuminati aliens have had to divert much of their human mind control into making us think that macaroni cheese is a cheap untasty meal, instead of the acclaimed delicacy that it actually is. Their war on the Kraft dinosaur is also backfiring on them in that they are in a way biting the hand that feeds them so to speak. Anyway, all this means that things are starting to spiral out of control for the reptillian illuminati aliens, whose mental control of the earths human population is gradually weakening. They are finding it harder to produce any new mind control machines as their finances are currently stretched to the limit due to their Ebay bidding war for the mutant spawn-to-be reported by Immortalkain, as they believe that this offspring will be their answer in the war against the Kraft dinosaur. Now that this has all been combined with the new green/grey alien invasion reported earlier in the thread, the future of the world is in dire straits, everything is dominoing and spiraling wildly out of control with intelligence organisations around the world scrambling to formulate plans of action. Suggestions are welcome on 1800-FBI-ALIENPLAN.

Vivid.