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What would have been the worst aspect of life during the
European middle ages? Heinous personal hygiene? No. Disease
and famine? Hardly. That really crappy mandolin music that
midgets enjoy dancing to? Close, but wrong again. The worst
thing about medieval life was the unwavering evil of the
Christian "justice" system and the tools of torture they
employed.
The following are the 20 worst torture devices of all time
in order of sheer terror:
20. Punishing
Shoes
The shoes were often used in conjunction with
the standing pillory (a device that holds your head and wrists
in place while you stand). How long do you think you could
stand on your tippy-toes before you had to rest your heels on
those iron spikes?
19. Heretic's
Fork
The four sharp points snugly nestled under the
chin and sternum were designed to allow the victim just enough
range of motion with his mouth to murmer a confession.
18. Dunking
Stool
Used primarily on women (as was the case for
most devices of pseudo-sexual torture), the dunking stool
would dip its occupant into a river for as long as the
authorities saw fit.
17. The
Boots
The victim's legs were placed between two
planks of wood and bound together with cords. Between the
cords the torturers placed wedges with which they would
violently hammer. Each time a wedge was hammered, an acute
portion of the shin bone was shattered. The tormentors could
hammer at least a dozen wedges up and down the legs. When the
Boots were removed, the bone fragments fell to pieces and the
skin of the lower legs merely served as loose sacks for them.
16. Water
Torture
This is the only non-medieval, European
torture on our list. The water torture was a favorite among
Japanese POW guards during WWII. The victim was first bound
with barbed wire and his mouth stuffed with rags. Next, the
guards would snake a tube down the victim's nasal passage and
bloat his belly with water. Once that was finished, the guards
would kick and beat the poor sap's midsection until his
stomach lining burst and and death ensued.
15. Cat's
Paw
This was simply used to slowly tear the flesh
from its victim, often times all the way down to the bone.
14. The
Rack
It does exactly what it looks like it does: the
rack pulls your body from end to end until your limbs are
slowly plucked from their joints.
13. Quartering by
Horses
Quartering is the rack taken to the next
level and was reserved only for murderers and those who killed
or attempted to take the life of a nobleman or royalty. Each
of the prisoner's limbs were tied to a horse and the horses
were whipped simultaneously so that each limb would erupt from
the body in an instant. A crowd favorite.
12. The
Pear
Hinging on your gender, the pear was either
placed in your anus or your vagina in its thin form and then
cranked to open up and blossom into a rather uncomfortable
position.
11. Cleansing the
Soul
In many Catholic countries, the clergy believed
that the corrupted soul of a damned person could be cleansed
if they were forced to consume boiling water, burning coals,
or both. Of course, this was what happened to prisoners
before they were punished for their crime -- sort of a
"warm-up" torture, if you will.
10. The Hanging
Cage
The pictured victim is one of the lucky ones
because most occupants were caged completely naked to expose
them to either extreme cold or hot weather conditions. And...
most caged prisoners were usually placed in there only after
other means of extreme physical torture were administered. But
wait -- there's more! The victims were left in the cage until
they died from either the elements or thirst, which could take
weeks.
9. The Head
Crusher
If ever an explanation was in a name, the
head crusher is it. Death by head crusher usually went
something like this: the teeth imploded into their sockets and
smashed the surrounding jaw bones. Then the eyes squirted from
their sockets and finally, brain matter squirted from the
ears. Unbelievably, many nations still use a version of the
head crusher to this very day as an interrogation tool.
8. Burning at the
Stake
A favorite execution for those accused of
witchcaft. Clergy believed that the burning of a witch
permanently removed her evil spirits from the physical world,
thus eliminating the possibility of any further contamination
of innocent souls. Makes sense.
7. Judas
Cradle
The victim was hoisted above the pyramid and
slowly lowered, crotch first, onto its sharpened pinnacle.
Hinging on the torturers mood, he could vary the amount of the
victim's body weight applied to the point.
6. The
Cradle
The Cradle is the nastier second cousin to
the Judas Cradle. We believe the picture does all the
explaining for us.
5. Iron
Maiden
The following is a depiction of the first
recorded use of the Iron Maiden on August 14, 1515 : "A forger
of coins was placed inside, and the doors shut slowly, so that
the very sharp points penetrated his arms and legs in several
places, and his belly and chest, and his bladder and the root
of his member, and his eyes, and his shoulders, and his
buttocks, but not enough to kill him; and so, he remained
making great cry and lament for two days, after which he
died."
4. Interrogation
Chair
Not only were the hundreds of tiny spikes
uncomfortable to sit on, but a fire was usually kindled under
the iron chair to make it reach a horrible scalding point.
3. Impalement
This was the standard form
of punishment for traitors in Algiers, Tunis, Tripoli and
Salee during the Middle Ages. Believe it or not, once the
lengthy spike entered the victim's posterior and exited their
mouth or throat, the victim might live for more than a day in
this state and was left to crawl in the dirt for all to watch.
2. The Saw
The
saw may represent human ingenuity's darkest hour. The idea
here is that when the victim is suspended upside down, most of
the blood will go to the head. That is an important part of
the process, you see, because as the torturers saw into the
victim's crotch, all of the blood in the head will oxygenate
the brain so that the victim will not pass out as one normally
would under such excruciating pain. Typically, the saw would
reach the victim's navel before unconsciousness would take
hold -- sometimes as far as the midriff.
1. Breaking with the
Wheel
Okay, we've saved the most treacherous display
for last. So, if you've had trouble with any of the above and
want to turn back now, no one will think less of you for
it................ You still here? You sick bastard. Okay,
here we go... In terms of frequency used, the wheel was second
only to hanging as the most common form of execution in
Germany during the Middle Ages. First, the victim (usually
naked) had each of his limbs spread apart and tied to the
ground. However, wooden crosspieces were placed under each
major joint such as the wrists, ankles, knees, hips and
shoulders. The torturer would then smash each limb and joint
with the heavy, iron-enhanced wheel. But that was just the
beginning of the nightmare. Once the limbs were reduced to
gelatinous appendages of mashed bones, blood and flesh, each
arm and leg was braided into the spokes of the wheel and then
hoisted upright for display. The agonizing victim would remain
in this position for days as crows and insects feasted on him
or her until death.
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