The ways we mourn and remember are influenced by our religious backgrounds. Some faiths cremate their dead, while others bury them. Some observe rituals long after a loved one’s death, while for others, the formalities are complete with the funeral.
Christian
beliefs
Christians trust they will go to heaven to be with God once they have died and so in some respects a funeral is a time of joy, although also sadness, as the person will be missed by friends and loved ones.
Preparing
The church minister may come and visit the person and their family to discuss any concerns and to help the person to prepare for their death. Depending on the form of Christianity (i.e. Anglican, Presbyterian etc.) and the particular church, there may be slightly different customs that will be followed.
At the time
The church minister will offer any comfort or assistance the family needs to help them cope with the death and to organize the funeral. Friends will often send their sympathies in the form of cards and/or flowers to the deceased’s family.
Funeral
A Christian may be either buried or cremated, depending on their preference. The ceremony will typically be held at the deceased person’s church and conducted by the minister, but it could also be held at a funeral home. The ceremony may involve hymns, readings and prayer by both the minister and the deceased’s family and friends. The casket may be present in the room during the ceremony and carried out at the end by pallbearers usually members of the deceased’s immediate family. There is often the opportunity for people to view the deceased and to say their last goodbyes before the deceased is buried.
Burial
If the deceased has been cremated the ashes may be scattered. Otherwise, the ashes or body will be buried in a cemetery and marked with a gravestone to remember the deceased.
After
On special occasions such as the deceased’s birthday, Christmas or anniversary of the death, family and friends may come and visit the grave. Often, flowers or other objects to remember the deceased will be placed on the grave as a sign of respect.
Catholic
beliefs
Catholics believe that there is an afterlife and that once a person dies they will see God face to face. If a person has committed a grave offence and has not repented at the time of death then that person would not enter into the full glory of heaven.
Preparing
The sick and the elderly can receive the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick on a regular basis if they wish to. If they can’t get to church on their own they will be taken there by other members of the church.
At the time
When a person is close to death the family or friends ask a priest to come and pray with the sick person and the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick is administered. This includes anointing with Holy Oils and the reception of the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Communion. After the person has passed away the priest comforts the family and helps them prepare the funeral arrangements.
Funeral
The Catholic funeral rite is called the Order of Christian Funerals. Family and friends pray for the soul of the deceased person and ask God to receive their soul into his eternal glory. The Vigil of the Deceased (a prayer service) is held the night before the funeral. On the day of the funeral a Requiem Mass for the deceased person is celebrated. This includes scripture, prayers and hymns. Family and friends are invited to take part in the service.
Burial
At the grave or place where the body has been entombed the Rite of Committal is celebrated. Family members and friends along with the priest pray once again for the deceased person as they commit the body or cremated remains to the final resting-place. The gravesite is also blessed.
After
Over the next year family members and friends often have Mass celebrated for the peace of the soul of the deceased person. On special occasions such as the deceased’s birthday, Christmas or anniversary of the death, family and friends will often visit the grave. Flowers or other objects to remember the deceased are sometimes placed on the grave as a sign of respect.
Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints
beliefs
Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints (or Mormons as they are also known) believe that at death the body and the spirit separate. The spirit goes to the spirit world before being reunited with the body. The judgment will then occur and after that the person will live in Heaven with God.
Preparing
The ward bishop and members of the church will offer support to the person who is dying and their family.
At the time
The ward bishop will go to the deceased’s home and offer assistance to the family in making arrangements for the funeral.
Funeral
Funeral services are generally conducted by the bishop in a ward chapel or in a mortuary. Although people mourn the loss of a loved one, the funeral service is viewed as a celebration of the life of the deceased. The service will consist of a eulogy, doctrinal messages, music and prayer. The funeral is designed to bring peace and solace, as church members believe families may be reunited in the life hereafter. Mourners often send flowers to the family to show their support.
Burial
Church members who have received temple ordinances are buried in their temple clothing. The grave is dedicated as a place of peace and remembrance for the family. Cremation is generally discouraged.
After
The gravesite is considered to be a sacred place for the family to visit and place floral remembrances.
Seventh Day Adventist
beliefs
Seventh Day Adventists believe that death is an unconscious sleep. When Christ returns to the earth he will awaken all those who believe in him and they will all go to be with God in heaven.
Preparing
For a Seventh Day Adventist death is not something to be afraid of but is part of God’s plan. The church minister or lay group leader may come and offer support to the person who is dying as well as their family.
At the time
Friends may visit and offer sympathies to the family. The church minister or lay group leader may offer assistance in helping with preparations for the funeral.
Funeral
The funeral will usually take place within a week. Friends may be able to view the deceased if that is what the family wishes. The service will usually take place at the church, a chapel or crematorium and include music, singing, scripture readings, a sermon and prayers.
Burial
Seventh Day Adventists can be buried or cremated. There will be a committal ceremony at the graveside or crematorium. The minister or lay group leader will pray and read scripture as they commit the body to the earth.
After
Friends may visit the family to offer help and offer words of comfort. They may also send flowers or food to the house.
JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
beliefs
Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that when they die they go into a kind of sleep until God resurrects them from the dead. Those who gain entrance to heaven will live with God but the vast majority of mankind will be resurrected to a restored paradise on earth.
Preparing
The church elders will visit the person, pray with them and share scripture to bring the person comfort.
At the time
No rituals are performed at time of death but an elder will give comfort to friends and family of the deceased.
Funeral
The funeral is usually held at the Kingdom Hall that the deceased attended or at the funeral home. The body may either be cremated or buried depending on the wishes of the deceased. Mourners will usually wear dignified clothing in muted colours out of respect for the deceased. A church elder runs the service with a sermon, prayers and singing.
Burial
A committal service may take place at the graveside if this is the wish of the family. It would include prayers and scripture, which will once again be lead by the church elder.
After
Mourners gather at the family’s house so friends and relatives can offer their sympathies. Flowers and cards are usually sent. Family and friends may come and visit the grave in the coming years to remember the deceased.
Jewish
beliefs
Beliefs may vary depending on whether the Jewish person is Orthodox, Reform or Conservative. Jews believe that when they die they will go to Heaven to be with God. This next world is called Olam HaEmet or ‘the world of truth’. Death is seen as a part of life and a part of God’s plan.
Preparing
Family and friends will gather. A rabbi may be called to offer comfort and to pray for the person who is dying.
At the time
The person’s eyes are closed, the body is covered and laid on the floor and candles are lit. The body is never left alone. Eating and drinking are not allowed near the body as a sign of respect. In Jewish law, being around a dead body causes uncleanliness so often the washing of the body and preparations for burial will be carried out by a special group of volunteers from the Jewish community. This is considered a holy act.
Funeral
Jews may not be cremated or embalmed. In Israel a coffin might not always be used but outside of Israel a coffin is almost always used. The body is wrapped in a white shroud. Mourners have the opportunity to express anguish. Tears are seen as a sign of sadness and show that the mourner is confronting death. Mourners also tear their clothing as an expression of grief.
Burial
The burial takes place as soon as possible following the death. Pallbearers will carry the casket to the grave. A family member will throw a handful of earth in the casket with the body. This is to put the body in close contact with the earth. Jewish law says each grave must have a tombstone to remember the deceased.
After
A candle is lit after returning from the cemetery to mark seven days of mourning called Shiva. This is when people can offer sympathies to the mourners. A meal is prepared by friends to help the mourners regain their strength. Each year the anniversary of the death is commemorated according to the Hebrew calendar. This day is observed as a solemn day of remembrance.
Hindu
beliefs
Hindus believe in reincarnation. When a person dies their soul merely moves from one body to the next on its path to reach Nirvana (Heaven). So, while it is a sad time when someone dies, it is also a time of celebration.
Preparing
Family and a priest may come to pray with the dying person, sing holy songs and read holy texts. The priest may perform last rites.
At the time
Family will pray around the body soon after death. People try to avoid touching the body as it is considered unclean.
Funeral
The deceased will be bathed and dressed in white traditional Indian clothing. If a woman dies before her husband she will be dressed in red. The procession might pass by places that were important to the deceased. Prayers are said at the entrance to the crematorium. The body is decorated with sandalwood and flowers. Someone will read from the scriptures. The head mourner is usually a male or the eldest son and he will pray for the body’s soul.
Burial
Hindus are cremated as they believe burning the body releases the spirit. The flames represent Brahma (the creator).
After
A priest will purify the family’s home with spices and incense. A mourning period begins during which friends and relatives can visit the family and offer their sympathies. After the funeral mourners must wash and change their clothing before entering the house.
One year later Shradh occurs. This is either a one-off event or may become an annual event. Sbradh is when food is given to the poor in memory of the deceased. Shradh lasts one month and a priest will say prayers for the deceased; during this time the family will not buy any new clothes or go to any parties.
Muslim
beliefs
There are two types of Muslims – Shi’ite and Sunni, so beliefs and customs may be slightly different for each. Muslims believe that the soul continues to exist after death. During life a person can shape their soul for better or worse depending on how they live their life. Muslims believe there will be a day of judgment by Allah (God). Until then, the deceased remain in their graves but on judgment day they will either go to Heaven or Hell. Muslims accept death as God’s will.
Preparing
Muslims should be prepared for death at any time, which is partly why daily prayers are so important. A dying person may wish to die facing Mecca, the Muslim holy city. Family members and elders recite the Muslim scripture called the Koran and pray for the person.
At the time
The eyes of the deceased will be closed and the body is laid out with their arms across their chest and head facing Mecca. The body will be washed by family or friends. It will be wrapped in a white shroud and prayers will be said.
Funeral
The body will be buried within 24 hours as Muslims believe the soul leaves the body at the moment of death. The funeral will take place either at the graveside and involve prayer and readings from the Koran.
Burial
There are conflicting opinions as to whether women are allowed to go into the graveyard. Before burial a prayer will be recited. Mourners are forbidden from excessive demonstrations of grief. The body will not be cremated as this is not permitted in Islam. The deceased will be buried with their face turned to the right facing Mecca. A coffin is usually not used but a chamber dug into the grave and sealed with wooden boards so no earth touches the body. The grave will usually be simple without any fancy decoration.
After
Three days of mourning follows where visitors are received and a special meal to remember the departed may be held. Mourners avoid decorative jewelry and clothing. Male family members go to visit the grave daily or weekly for 40 days. There will also be prayer gatherings at the home for 40 days. After one year there will be a large prayer gathering of family and friends. After that, male family and friends visit the grave and everyone remembers the deceased in prayers.
Sikh
beliefs
Sikhs believe in reincarnation but also that if a person lives their life according to God’s plan then they can end the cycle of rebirth in this life. They believe in an afterlife where the soul meets God
Preparing
Friends and relations will be with the dying person and recite from the Sukhnami Sahib.
At the time
After passing away the deceased will be washed and dressed in clean clothes. If the deceased has fulfilled the Sikh baptismal ritual then the five symbols of Sikh membership will also be placed in the coffin.
Funeral
Friends and family drive in procession to the crematorium. Death is not seen as a sad occasion but as an act of God and so it is forbidden to cry. There may be an opportunity to view the deceased. Hymns may be sung, prayers and the poem Sohila recited.
Burial
Cremation is the norm. Although, some Sikhs and only small children and babies will be buried. A male family member will switch the cremation oven on. The ashes will be spread in running water and are traditionally sent to India.
After
Afterwards the mourners will come to the temple for more hymns and readings as well as the distribution of parsad, a kind of bread/pudding, which is a symbol of God’s blessing. For days after the death, Gum Granth Sahib will be read or sung regularly in order to ease the sorrows of the family.
Buddhist
beliefs
Buddhists believe in rebirth and that when they die they will be reborn again. The goal is to escape the cycle of death and rebirth and attain nirvana or a state of perfect peace. There are lots of different types of Buddhism and many different ways of dealing with death.
Preparing
The dying person may ask a monk or nun in their particular Buddhist tradition to help them make the transition from life to death as peaceful as possible. Buddhists believe that a person’s state of mind as they die is very important so they can find a happy state of rebirth when they pass away. Before and at the moment of death and for a period after death, the monk, nun or spiritual friends may chant from the Buddhist scriptures.
At the time
Buddhists believe the spirit leaves the body immediately but may linger in an in between state near the body. In this case, it is important the body is treated with respect so that the spirit can continue its journey to a happy state. The time it is believed to take for the spirit to be reborn can vary depending on the type of Buddhism practiced
Funeral
Because there are so many different types of Buddhist funeral traditions vary. Funerals will usually consist of a simple service held at the crematorium chapel. The coffin may be surrounded by objects significant to the person who has died. Monks may come with the family to the funeral and scriptures may be chanted.
Burial
The person may either be cremated or buried depending on their tradition. There may be speeches and chants on the impermanence of life.
After
The grave may be visited by friends and family in remembrance of the person who has passed away. The importance of the gravesite will depend on the particular Buddhist tradition. Buddhists believe that it is just the physical body that lies in the grave because the person’s spirit has been reborn. Buddhists will often do things to wish for the happiness of the deceased person. For example in Southeast Asia lay people give offerings to the monks in memory of the dead person.
Scientology
Scientologists believe that the defining part of every human is his soul, or thetan. The physical body is a very transitory and limiting part of existence. Indeed, the purpose of auditing in Scientology is to eliminate harmful spiritual influences that restrict the thetan, and higher levels of this process allow the thetan to interact with the world without needing to use the body as an intermediary.
Funeral
If the family of the deceased opts for a funeral ceremony, a church official will address the deceased, bidding farewell and encouraging his thetan to take up a new body and a new life through reincarnation. The ceremony also generally involves a celebration of the deceased’s accomplishments in life and thanking him for the time spent with those attending. Readings from Hubbard’s works on Scientology are also generally included.
Non-Scientologists are welcome to attend any portion of the funeral services.
Burial
Scientology doctrine does not dictate any required or forbidden treatment of the body after death. Scientologists may have the corpse either buried or cremated. Ceremonies may or may not involve a viewing of the body, and grave markers may or may not be used.
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, was cremated. He requested that no memorial be created in remembrance and no ceremony was performed other than the depositing of his ashes at sea.
After
Each thetan is billions of years old, passing from one human life to the next through reincarnation. There is no judgment of the soul involved, and the process is automatic, without any necessary intervention through ritual, prayer or other means. As such, Scientology funerals are relatively simple ceremonies and are largely for the benefit of attendees rather than the deceased.
Material sourced with permission from The Comfort Care Basket Program, Seven Oaks Long Term Care Centre, Toronto, ON